A typical morning...

(snoring)

Okay, baby! Time to wake up!!!
(weak opening of the eyes)
(groaning...) Nooooooooooooooo..........
I need to take a nap mommy...I stay in bed...
Nope, time to go to school! Doesn't that sound fun??!!!
Noooooooooooooooo....don't want to go to school. I don't like school.
Hmmmm. Well if you're going to stay in bed all day, I might have to eat your feet.
Nooo....(giggle)...no eat me mommy
I think there's no way around it! C'mon, offer 'em up!
No! No....don't do it (as he lifts his foot in the air)
nom nom nom nom nom....mmmmmm....Good Feet!!
(hysterical laughing..)
No! (shrieking!) Don't eat my tummy too!
But I have to!
NO!
Well, maybe just an ear or two.
I GOTTA GO POTTY!!!
Great!..go for it! Then meet me out there for breakfast.

(as he's going potty)
I DON"T LIKE BREAKFAST! No I don't LIKE breakfast Mommy!!
I know, but I made biscuits!
But I don't LIKE breakfast! (softer) Biscuits?

(as he's eating biscuits)
C'mon baby, eat faster, we have to go soon.
(trance staring at the tv)
Please put the biscuit in your mouth. It's been 5 minutes since your last bite.
(looks at me out of the corner of his eye, then resumes tv)
Brent!
What!
You know that you make me crazy, right?
You make ME crazy mommy.
Eat.
No.
Okay...lets go then! Get your jacket on.
I don't need a jacket. It's warmer outside today.
No, it's not. It's not warmer.
It's NOT?
No, get your jacket.
(looking at jacket on the floor)
I can't pick it up. You do it. (pathetic weak look)
No, PICK UP THE (holding back cuss words) JACKET
I can't!
BRENT!
Oh.....ooooookkkkaaaayyyyyyy
Can you put it on for me? (sweetly)
(angry stare)
ooookkkkaaayayyyy...I'll do it mommy.
Here, you hold it and I'll put my arms through.
(spinning in circles while flailing his arms toward the jacket)
Brent...you have 2 seconds to put this jacket on.
(wrestling jacket onto him since we're running late)

(finally, walking out the door)
Mommy...it's not warmer out here
You don't say?
Can you put my hood up for me.
No...do it yourself.
Can you do it for me mommy
Brent...
Oh ooookkkkaaaayyyyy. I'll do it mommy
Thanks! Ready to go to school now!?
Yes.

But...we get to do it all over again tomorrow. Hooray for me :)