I squeeze our new red and black Nerf football. It's Sunday. I should be watching the games, but it's so nice that we headed out for our own practice. I picture my little men in jerseys someday. Alex the bouncy fullback, and Brent the wiley receiver. We're pumped. We're ready. We're going to play some FOOTBALL!
"Okay... we're just going to practice throwing the ball back and forth a few times."
Brent throws it to me. I fetch it.
I throw it to Alex. He fetches it.
Alex has to count three lightning strikes, twirl around, and then throws it back. I fetch it.
This continues for a few minutes. Now Brent is doing lighting strikes (?) before each throw, and alternating right and left hands. The hand he uses determines how far I have to fetch.
"Alright, lets try running for touchdowns! Go long, Alex!"
Alex runs two feet away.
"No, run out a bit further..." He runs two more feet. I just throw it.
He jumps, the ball hits him in the face. He chases it and tackles the ball, then runs downfield.
"Brent! Go cover him!"
Brent pretends to chase away the 'bad guys'. Alex gets excited and runs in circles. They start playing Star Wars with invisible light sabers. I call them in for the next play.
"Okay. This time I'm going to hike the ball to you, Brent. Alex, you run behind him. Brent, you place the ball in Alex's hands, and Alex, you run for a touchdown."
We get in our positions.
"I HAVE TO PEE!" Brent screams, then runs to the goal post tree and soaks it, making circles.
We get in our positions again.
"Okay..this time we're going to use another tree as the goal post"
I hike the ball to Brent. He stands and looks at me. Alex twirls and jumps in place.
"Brent! Give the ball to Alex!".
Alex takes the ball and runs to the left. I redirect him, and they both run down field, punching invisible 'bad guys' and zig zagging down to the goal. Alex throws the ball in the air. "I've been tackled!!" he yells, and falls down next the ball. Brent picks it up, then tosses it and flops down in the leaves, too. Tackled, I suppose, as well.
I call them back.
"How 'bout we play Super Mario football?!?!?!" Alex says excitedly.
"No...I don't know what that is, but we're not playing that. This is real football, guys! Don't you want to learn real football?"
"It's when you have to beat Bowser and then baby Bowser and Dry Bones will be on our team, and the Princess...no, not the Princess...YOSHI!! Yoshi will be on our team!!!"
Brent is hopping excitedly and they go running around the yard, making various noises and sound effects. I lay down in the leaves in the 70 degree November day and just listen to the most absurd and perfect football game ever.