The Punkin Farm

As time passes

Dear Brent:

I am reminded so much lately of why I am so lucky to be a parent, and even more so to have you as the reciprocal part of that equation. Sure, you've been getting up at night here and there - bedtimes don't go quite as smoothly as I usually hope for. But then a couple nights ago when I came to bed, just before midnight as I drifted off to sleep, you wandered out of bed and came over and gave me a huge hug through the covers. "I just wanted to give you a big hug mommy", you said in his half-awake state. Then you stumbled back to bed, barely squeaking out a "you're welcome" when I thanked you as was leaving.

You have been having troubles with the dark, it seems. Even with the two nightlights and flashlight you grip as you sleep in case of emergency (yes, it only takes one or two good thunderstorm blackouts to cause constant fear, it seems), you still complain about it being too dark. So I had been turning on a light in my bedroom, which is adjacent, and that helped for a few days. But all has failed, and so I had a long talk with you the other night about how I used to be scared of the dark too. I told you about how I worked through it (I didn't mention I was in my 20s by then), and you listened patiently. A few mornings later, I left you to play while I went to take a shower. When I came back, you were playing quietly with your trains, and all the lights had been turned off in the room.

"Mommy!", you shouted, running over to me. "I'm not scared of the dark anymore! I turned off the lights and just played in the dark - and it wasn't scary at all! It was the same as being light, just harder to see"

On your own, you started conquering your fears. To me, that's pretty big for a newly-turned five year old.

And that's just one of many things I'm proud of you for these days. There's so many things you've practiced until you can do on your own - like go pour a glass of milk, or help me fold laundry, or throw a perfect spiral with a football way too large for your hand. You are so determined, and smart, and talented, that I am constantly amazed at the person you are becoming.

There are more and more times when I have fun just hanging out with you - laughing with you, not as a parent, but just as a fellow human. Yes, many of your jokes contain the word (or action thereof) poot. But some of them are still pretty funny all the same, even though I try to keep a straight face. How many kids say "Hold onto your underpants, Mommy - this one will probably be REALLY stinky" or turn around and say "You might want to wait a minute before coming up the steps behind me"? And you don't know how proud I was when we were watching the Steelers BLOW A DIVISIONAL GAME HORRIBLY, and you were just as ticked off as I was, shouting "I don't BELIEVE this!" right along with me. This is preferable to a year ago, when you knew enough to see what the score was, and would inform me so helpfully every two minutes that they were still losing.

I know from here on out, I have to treat you like a big boy. I'm trying. I know how mad you get when I say something like "I love you, baby". "I'm NOT a baby mommy!!!". So I'm working on some more age appropriate sentimental nicknames. It's especially hard around your birthday, when I'm reminded of the day we both made it through together, all those years ago. When you were definitely my baby. But I'll take this Brent over that one any time, if it means getting to play and watch football together, and even if it means that when you crawl on top of me now playing, that I get bruises from your REALLY SHARP elbows, and even if my back now protests when I pick you up after bumping your head. And I hope you understand when I have to be your parent in ways that infringe on your freedoms, just to keep you safe, that I look forward to being your friend one day as well.

Happy Birthday!

Five years old. And what a wonderful ride it's been.

I had to work on their birthday, but was allowed an extra long lunch, where I met them at Chuck-e-Cheese's for a couple hours of wide eyed token entertainment and pizza. We opened presents that night and they were in absolute heaven. This year they definitely got less of the cheap toy gifts and more of the educational kind. A couple new Wii games have been added to the mix, one where you can make science experiments (which is awesome!) and Super Mario Galaxy, which is a little too hard for them to play, so I get to frustrate myself through every agonizing level while they become deranged back seat drivers directing me around every gravity-defying corner. And they are high on being kids, which is all that I want for them these days.

We've been home schooling them a bit this year - nothing terribly structured, but they are doing wonderful with it. They delight in getting their school backpacks and digging through the notebooks to find what they need, or using their new markers for an art project. I pack their lunchboxes each day and leave little notes or pictures in them. So sometimes they will go outside and eat if it's nice, or take little field trips. We are less 'classroom based' and more hands on. Finding a cicada shell provides an impromptu lesson, or finding newly colored leaves as we talk about the different seasons. For the fall equinox, we made smores around a campfire and talked about the changes up ahead.

Yesterday we had big plans. The Dog Mart was that day, which I had helped a lot with at work. And the state fair is ending tomorrow, so we had wanted to go to that. It was such a perfect fall day that we wanted to take them somewhere. And then after lunch we started watching Mystery Science Theater 3k. The boys were cracking up, even though they couldn't have gotten most of the jokes referencing news and culture. We ended up laughing for two hours non-stop. I asked them if they wanted to go out still, or if they just wanted to spend the afternoon outside. They raced for their shoes and out we went. We played soccer and walked through the woods, exploring and finding feathers. We laid in the grass and told stories and had a wonderful day.

For dinner I made biscuits and fixed little sandwiches or just put jelly on them and made a biscuit buffet for them to pick at through the evening. Root beer floats capped off the day...a great day. And we didn't have to drive anywhere or fight crowds. It turned out just perfect - despite our big plans.

Happy Birthday, my big boys...