Afterthought

Snow ball fights become less fun when your children have gotten older, and therefore are much better at aiming and dodging.

MUCH better.

The aftermath - 26 inches

20" and counting

...and it hasn't let up yet.

Backlogged photos

Last night they opened one of their presents - a black and decker tool set!

Art that the boys made in the brownie-making bowl:

The nature of things

Yikes! (Oh wait - checking - it's the 21st century, so what I meant was - OMG!) It's been awhile since I've posted.

And, likely the number of posts won't increase much over time. Not for a lack of stories - on the contrary, these two five year olds are growing up so quickly that I can hardly keep up. And as they do, the number of stories I can share becomes inversely proportional to it. Their stories are becoming - well, their stories.

This is such an exciting time to be a parent! And I am so thankful every day of the opportunities we have, even though, as with so many people right now, money is extremely tight and with no foreseeable change in sight. But it has opened us up to many things that we may have missed - has led us to the bigger picture - a greater world view.

Since they missed kindergarten by a whole 3 days this past fall, we made the decision to homeschool them this year. Perhaps they will be ready for 1st grade next year, maybe not. Regardless, it has transformed our daily activities and really solidified their passion for learning. Which, to me, is more important that the specific information that they are learning at this age.

Most people would (and probably do) consider us overprotective when it comes to many things: The TV they watch, the games they play (even imaginary ones), the foods they eat, etc. We don't have toy weapons laying around, and even if one gets built out of Tinkertoys, it's not to be pointed at anyone or 'used' in anger. Though most of the time if we ask them what it is, it is some sort of blaster that shoots rainbows or love to everyone. Most importantly - when issues come up, or one of them is angry or impatient at the other - we do a LOT of talking. For two years, when problems have come up, we don't just throw them in time out, we talk about it as well.

And a crazy thing happened somewhere along the way. They started listening. And caring...about each other, about respecting each others choices, about sharing, about being polite. If they start a sentence with "I want....", it's met with a cheery "That's nice!". If they ask for something with "May I have......please", then we gladly get it. If one gets finished eating, he waits patiently until the other is done. So many examples... most we probably started harping on them about way before what is normally done in this day and age.

By far our biggest problems have always been the video games. They, as with most kids, become completely insane with a controller in their hand. But these days, they never make the other one feel bad for losing. In fact, they pay a lot less attention to winning than they used to, in general. They cheer on each other genuinely, they take turns, they don't fight about who gets to be "first player" or who gets to be {insert favorite Mario character of the day}. At first, they just gritted their teeth, knowing that if they started arguing, the game was turned off instantaneously. And at first, when that happened, they threw tantrums and pouted. But now, they get it. In a lot of ways.

We do watch some tv as part of our studies. Zooboomafoo is great for learning about animals. And afterwards, we talk about what they learned, and sometimes head to the internet for more pictures and information. We learn how to spell the words that they are learning during the program, and how to write them. And Imagination Movers always gets them dancing for some fun exercise and problem-solving.

But a lot of what we teach them is real-world things. We let them pick the things they want to learn about. We flip through children's encyclopedias and magazines and talk about the things that interest them. We might stay on a subject for a whole week, as we did with dinosaurs recently - watching shows on the discovery channel and science channel that we'd recorded. It was a great way to introduce things like evolution, and extinction, which led to questions about life in general that were sometimes tricky to answer. For the most part, we don't sugar coat things. If something they asked got them a too-big-to-swallow answer, I've noticed that they will mull over it for a few days before wrapping their heads around it - which always leads to more questions at that point. They are both amazingly intuitive and intelligent - it amazes me more every day.

Brent is my little nature man. When asked what things he was thankful for on Thanksgiving, his list was (in order): Trees, flowers, all the animals, birds, and everything else in the whole world. And he really sees the beauty in things, to where I can almost see his eyes welling up, overwhelmed by emotion at things. He will look over at me, and see the same look in my eye, and for a moment become bashful and nervous. It was his idea to go out and look at the sky every night before bed these days, and he's religious about it. No matter how cold or rainy, he has to go out and check on the moon and stars, noting the changes in them, memorizing which ones are planets, asking questions about the moon phases.

Before bed is when he does his most intense thinking. Many nights I've brought a small dry erase board with me, and we will talk about things while drawing them out, or outlining them. Recently it looked something like this:

Things I'm scared of at night:

1. Bad guys

2. Zombies

3. Witches

4. Ghosts

5. Pirates

6. Spiders

And one by one, we drew pictures and dissected them. We talked about what witches really were (not the goblin-faced ones on Mario). We talked about the things that were real, versus the ones that weren't. We talked about how our eyes played tricks on us in the dark. And we talked about how to manipulate our dreams when faced with a nightmare. It took an hour and a half, and went way past bedtime. But he was listening with everything he had, and absorbing it all with wonder and grace. Since then, bedtimes have gone much smoother. A few more things were added over time, and he often requests to "draw things out" if he has something bothering him.

Anyways, I'm getting carried away by details. The point is - they're both doing great. At even this young age, they are respectful, honest (for the most part!), brave, and not afraid to face their demons. I'm so proud of them :)

On another front, I've become the horrible 'eat your vegetables' mother. Because things are tight, and for other reasons, I've been cooking most of our food from scratch. In the past month, I've baked more bread and used more yeast than I have my whole life (read: ever). I've cut up and used all our pumpkins from halloween. I've used the harvested herbs and spices from our garden and planned out in detail (including having a greenhouse) the crop for next year. Alex, in this last month, has gone from eating mostly chicken nuggets and no vegetables, to requesting peas, stuffing, potatoes. If you lived at our house, your jaw would have dropped at that last piece of information. And, without ever asking them to get involved, they regularly and excitedly help me with all of it, asking tons of questions and learning a lot about health and nutrition in the process.

Of course, the recent weeks have also been about the buildup of Christmas (photos to come!). Decorating our tree is a week long process, and they both know where every special ornament is that they put up. We cleaned up the other room and have a usable fireplace now, so there is a true mantle for the stockings this year. Plus, having decorations in the other room keeps the cats from knocking all the ornaments off and having their way with the garland in the wee hours of the night. As the proud caregiver for two feral-turned-domestic felines, there are many fond moments to be had. But none of them involving Christmas trees.

So, if you made it to end of this rather long post, you will get an explanation of the change in title for this blog. Because the angle has changed, and it's no longer just a story about Brent, but a story about life, about family, and about theories on parenting and relationships. We may not be conventional at most times, but we're very happy. Or maybe it's that blast from the love-ray I got this morning.

Beatles Rockband

I can't help but think of my Dad every time we play this game. He played such great air drums that I know he would have rocked the stage.

As part of our music lessons (or just for plain fun) we play this a LOT. Not only are they getting to listen to historic music, but they are getting some rockin' rhythm! They might look solemn, but it's really just intense concentration.

A nice day for a drive

Are you ready for some football!

I squeeze our new red and black Nerf football. It's Sunday. I should be watching the games, but it's so nice that we headed out for our own practice. I picture my little men in jerseys someday. Alex the bouncy fullback, and Brent the wiley receiver. We're pumped. We're ready. We're going to play some FOOTBALL!

"Okay... we're just going to practice throwing the ball back and forth a few times."

Brent throws it to me. I fetch it.

I throw it to Alex. He fetches it.

Alex has to count three lightning strikes, twirl around, and then throws it back. I fetch it.

This continues for a few minutes. Now Brent is doing lighting strikes (?) before each throw, and alternating right and left hands. The hand he uses determines how far I have to fetch.

"Alright, lets try running for touchdowns! Go long, Alex!"

Alex runs two feet away.

"No, run out a bit further..." He runs two more feet. I just throw it.

He jumps, the ball hits him in the face. He chases it and tackles the ball, then runs downfield.

"Brent! Go cover him!"

Brent pretends to chase away the 'bad guys'. Alex gets excited and runs in circles. They start playing Star Wars with invisible light sabers. I call them in for the next play.

"Okay. This time I'm going to hike the ball to you, Brent. Alex, you run behind him. Brent, you place the ball in Alex's hands, and Alex, you run for a touchdown."

We get in our positions.

"I HAVE TO PEE!" Brent screams, then runs to the goal post tree and soaks it, making circles.

We get in our positions again.

"Okay..this time we're going to use another tree as the goal post"

I hike the ball to Brent. He stands and looks at me. Alex twirls and jumps in place.

"Brent! Give the ball to Alex!".

Alex takes the ball and runs to the left. I redirect him, and they both run down field, punching invisible 'bad guys' and zig zagging down to the goal. Alex throws the ball in the air. "I've been tackled!!" he yells, and falls down next the ball. Brent picks it up, then tosses it and flops down in the leaves, too. Tackled, I suppose, as well.

I call them back.

"How 'bout we play Super Mario football?!?!?!" Alex says excitedly.

"No...I don't know what that is, but we're not playing that. This is real football, guys! Don't you want to learn real football?"

"It's when you have to beat Bowser and then baby Bowser and Dry Bones will be on our team, and the Princess...no, not the Princess...YOSHI!! Yoshi will be on our team!!!"

Brent is hopping excitedly and they go running around the yard, making various noises and sound effects. I lay down in the leaves in the 70 degree November day and just listen to the most absurd and perfect football game ever.

Halloween 09

I suppose we could have gone trick or treating in the rain.

We would have missed eating gooey eyeballs, and making homemade pumpkin pie after carving our pumpkins. We might have gotten fresh roasted pumpkin seeds, but most likely we wouldn't have. And the house wouldn't have smelled of nutmeg and cloves and fresh pumpkin.

Instead of driving somewhere in the cold rain, we played Mario games and Beatles Rockband. We turned off all the lights and ran around the room with our glowsticks and halloween flashlights. They ate slimed crackers (Easy Cheese and green food coloring), gummy snakes, and colored noodles. They stayed up late, and laughed often with fake bass voices that they donned to go with their mustaches.

I suppose we could have gone trick or treating in the rain, but sometimes things work out for the best, and bring out the best in all of us.

The Punkin Farm

As time passes

Dear Brent:

I am reminded so much lately of why I am so lucky to be a parent, and even more so to have you as the reciprocal part of that equation. Sure, you've been getting up at night here and there - bedtimes don't go quite as smoothly as I usually hope for. But then a couple nights ago when I came to bed, just before midnight as I drifted off to sleep, you wandered out of bed and came over and gave me a huge hug through the covers. "I just wanted to give you a big hug mommy", you said in his half-awake state. Then you stumbled back to bed, barely squeaking out a "you're welcome" when I thanked you as was leaving.

You have been having troubles with the dark, it seems. Even with the two nightlights and flashlight you grip as you sleep in case of emergency (yes, it only takes one or two good thunderstorm blackouts to cause constant fear, it seems), you still complain about it being too dark. So I had been turning on a light in my bedroom, which is adjacent, and that helped for a few days. But all has failed, and so I had a long talk with you the other night about how I used to be scared of the dark too. I told you about how I worked through it (I didn't mention I was in my 20s by then), and you listened patiently. A few mornings later, I left you to play while I went to take a shower. When I came back, you were playing quietly with your trains, and all the lights had been turned off in the room.

"Mommy!", you shouted, running over to me. "I'm not scared of the dark anymore! I turned off the lights and just played in the dark - and it wasn't scary at all! It was the same as being light, just harder to see"

On your own, you started conquering your fears. To me, that's pretty big for a newly-turned five year old.

And that's just one of many things I'm proud of you for these days. There's so many things you've practiced until you can do on your own - like go pour a glass of milk, or help me fold laundry, or throw a perfect spiral with a football way too large for your hand. You are so determined, and smart, and talented, that I am constantly amazed at the person you are becoming.

There are more and more times when I have fun just hanging out with you - laughing with you, not as a parent, but just as a fellow human. Yes, many of your jokes contain the word (or action thereof) poot. But some of them are still pretty funny all the same, even though I try to keep a straight face. How many kids say "Hold onto your underpants, Mommy - this one will probably be REALLY stinky" or turn around and say "You might want to wait a minute before coming up the steps behind me"? And you don't know how proud I was when we were watching the Steelers BLOW A DIVISIONAL GAME HORRIBLY, and you were just as ticked off as I was, shouting "I don't BELIEVE this!" right along with me. This is preferable to a year ago, when you knew enough to see what the score was, and would inform me so helpfully every two minutes that they were still losing.

I know from here on out, I have to treat you like a big boy. I'm trying. I know how mad you get when I say something like "I love you, baby". "I'm NOT a baby mommy!!!". So I'm working on some more age appropriate sentimental nicknames. It's especially hard around your birthday, when I'm reminded of the day we both made it through together, all those years ago. When you were definitely my baby. But I'll take this Brent over that one any time, if it means getting to play and watch football together, and even if it means that when you crawl on top of me now playing, that I get bruises from your REALLY SHARP elbows, and even if my back now protests when I pick you up after bumping your head. And I hope you understand when I have to be your parent in ways that infringe on your freedoms, just to keep you safe, that I look forward to being your friend one day as well.

Happy Birthday!

Five years old. And what a wonderful ride it's been.

I had to work on their birthday, but was allowed an extra long lunch, where I met them at Chuck-e-Cheese's for a couple hours of wide eyed token entertainment and pizza. We opened presents that night and they were in absolute heaven. This year they definitely got less of the cheap toy gifts and more of the educational kind. A couple new Wii games have been added to the mix, one where you can make science experiments (which is awesome!) and Super Mario Galaxy, which is a little too hard for them to play, so I get to frustrate myself through every agonizing level while they become deranged back seat drivers directing me around every gravity-defying corner. And they are high on being kids, which is all that I want for them these days.

We've been home schooling them a bit this year - nothing terribly structured, but they are doing wonderful with it. They delight in getting their school backpacks and digging through the notebooks to find what they need, or using their new markers for an art project. I pack their lunchboxes each day and leave little notes or pictures in them. So sometimes they will go outside and eat if it's nice, or take little field trips. We are less 'classroom based' and more hands on. Finding a cicada shell provides an impromptu lesson, or finding newly colored leaves as we talk about the different seasons. For the fall equinox, we made smores around a campfire and talked about the changes up ahead.

Yesterday we had big plans. The Dog Mart was that day, which I had helped a lot with at work. And the state fair is ending tomorrow, so we had wanted to go to that. It was such a perfect fall day that we wanted to take them somewhere. And then after lunch we started watching Mystery Science Theater 3k. The boys were cracking up, even though they couldn't have gotten most of the jokes referencing news and culture. We ended up laughing for two hours non-stop. I asked them if they wanted to go out still, or if they just wanted to spend the afternoon outside. They raced for their shoes and out we went. We played soccer and walked through the woods, exploring and finding feathers. We laid in the grass and told stories and had a wonderful day.

For dinner I made biscuits and fixed little sandwiches or just put jelly on them and made a biscuit buffet for them to pick at through the evening. Root beer floats capped off the day...a great day. And we didn't have to drive anywhere or fight crowds. It turned out just perfect - despite our big plans.

Happy Birthday, my big boys...

Nothing like a bit of mid morning guilt on a Monday...

I just got off the phone with Brent, who actually talked to me a few minutes instead of zoning out at the television. He was watching Tigger and Pooh, and we both agreed Tigger was our favorite, because of all the boucing. Then he said in such a sweet little voice, "Mommy - can you come home REALLY REALLY soon?!". When I asked why, he said it was because he needed "warm mommy snuggles". Awwwww. I'm writing this as proof for when he turns 13. Or 7. Or whenever he gags at the thought of snuggling with his own mother.

The other night I layed down with him to watch a movie with him before bed. He got the movie set up, turned the light off and jumped in beside me, laying up against me with his head on my arm. After a giant sigh, he said "Oh yeah...I've been waiting ALL day for these snuggles!". I know its part of his cycles, and next week we'll be back to passing notes from opposite sides of the room it seems, but for now, I've got plenty of warm snuggles to go around.

Random thoughts

Even after a testing day as a parent, being told you're the best mommy in the world warms the most tired heart.

Perfect summer days are made even more beautiful watching children play.

Cat-resistant screens are one of the best inventions.

Having home grown cherry tomatoes every night makes the best dessert.

Random beauty

Random thankfulness

After 4 or 5 weeks of waking between 6 and 6:30, Brent let me sleep in until after EIGHT O'CLOCK for the last two days. And these corresponded to a HOLIDAY WEEKEND.

I am so happy I could cry....

Now, if bedtimes would get back to normal, I'd be in seventh heaven. I think he slept in because he was worn out with the effort of driving me crazy.

Worth a try

That is not a random ad on the left, for the electronic cigarettes. These have been around for a while, but are just now making it to the US.

Mike has been smoking for over 11 years. He was excited to finally try these, and we got them 3 days after they were ordered. They are 75% less cost than cigarettes, and mimic them quite successfully. But instead of having carcinogens and chemicals, the only thing you're getting is the nicotine, in a water vapor. And even that is optional.

After one day, he has no desire to smoke a 'real' cigarette, and couldn't finish one when he tried. To me, that's proof that they can be great for some people.

If you smoke, give them a try. But use the link, we get credit for everything we refer! If nothing else, they can be 'smoked' anywhere, anytime. I am super-sensitive to smoke, not to mention that we didn't want it around the children anyhow, so this is proving to be a life-saver for us. Or if not for you, spread the word. It is a much healthier and cheaper alternative or supplement to cigarettes.

Wii are going to get Fit!

So last week we splurged on a healthy family investment - the Wii Fit game. If you've heard of it, but haven't played it, let me tell you that in all my years of trying to stick with an exercise routine, this has the best chance yet. We are all 4 fighting to get our time in every day, as it keeps track of your weight, BMI, center of balance, goals, etc. It has yoga poses, strength exercises, balance and aerobic - and all of them have plenty to choose from, in addition to having new ones unlocked the more you play.

Your minutes 'played' are kept track of as well. And it doesn't count time between exercises. So if you log 30 minutes, that was 30 actual minutes of sweat.

What a great concept - a game that the whole family can play together, that's both fun and healthy.

Brent got me up at 6:30 yesterday and raced out to play. We got it all set up, and then he wanted ME to play.

Me: "Hey, remember the rules? Mommy may get up when you get up, but mommy doesn't move much until at least 7:00".

Brent: "But I'm just too tired to play"

Me: "Right! Because it's REALLY early!"

Brent: "So YOU play it first"

Me: "No way"

Brent: "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE....(etc.)"

So I dragged my butt up and managed to get in 16 minutes before he jumped in and wanted to play. You know, just as I was waking up and having fun with it. But it was nice to get on last night and be halfway to my goal already. By the time I maneuvered down a few ski slopes, worked out on a punching bag, mastered the hula hoops, and done a few poses, I was even over my 30 minutes. So I took my penguin over to the iceberg and helped him balance to get fish for a few minutes, then walked the tightrope over the canyon, and called it a night.

Coolness

While taking down the front brick steps, we came across a few little eggs. Before we found them, a few had already been destroyed, so we knew what kind of snakes they were, otherwise the rest wouldn't be sitting in an aquarium under a heat lamp right now.

From what I had read, I had little hope that they would make it, since once they are layed, they aren't supposed to be turned over, and by the time we got them out of the bricks and into the incubator, who knew what side was supposed to be up. But out of 9 or 10, I hoped the odds would be on our side for a few to hatch. I also thought that they wouldn't be doing anything for a few more weeks, but look what we found when we got back from the park today (see pictures below)!

He/she is now happily foraging in the flower garden somewhere, and finding its first meal. Even if the others don't hatch, I consider it well worth it that we saved at least one. Happy life, little ringneck snake!

A day at the Park

We spent most of the time wading in the Potomac River and finding seashells, but I'm always leary of bringing my camera around bodies of water, especially when I'm outnumbered in the kids:adults ratio. And then we had a wonderful picnic lunch. I guess it wasn't enough I get to share my life with two handsome boys, but I get two beautiful nieces as well :)