So I guess I'm at this brief interlude in Brent's life where he actually enjoys spending time with me and isn't afraid to admit it. Each day I come home and ask the boys what their favorite part of the day was. Alex will tell me about his games, or something he did. Brent will 100% every time say "when you came home, mommy". Even if I press for something else, he remains adamant. Each night during our bedtime book and song, he'll go over how many days are left in the work week, until I can stay home all day for two days. I remind him that I do come home every night - that I'm not gone ALL day during the week. And last night he sadly says "But you missed the snow. Right mommy...you didn't see the snow with me because you were at work". Actually I missed it completely, since it only snowed for 15 minutes at the house, and not at my work. But it both makes me happy and sad that he longs to share those kinds of moments. I'm so flattered, and yet I don't want him missing out on one smile in life because of who he is or isn't sharing a moment with.
I remember during my early teenage years, when I refused to hold my dad's hand while walking around the mall, certain that some cute boy in my class would see me. But I also remember the things I don't necessarily share with my parents. Like how I can hear my dad singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" each time I sing it with Brent, and how I remember dancing with him when I was small. Only now I am the one reaching down instead of up. I can still give my mom a hug and it takes me back to all the days I was safe and loved and didn't have a care in the world.
I wonder sometimes if I'm one of the few that stress about these things...about what our children will remember. Will it be the times he smiled the most, or the least? Will it be our evenings dancing or laughing, or the moments I've lost my patience over things that weren't all that important? As parents, are we graded as pass/fail, a sliding curve, or somewhere in between? Either way, some days I feel like I aced it with flying colors, and other days I wonder why there was no prep course.
Next week Brent will be visiting his Dad. So I'll be my normal zombie self, I'm sure...wandering around like I've walked into a room and don't remember why or what I needed. It feels like when you've left for vacation and you know you've forgotten something important, but can't remember what it is. My alarm clock will be a normal one, and not the sound of "Mommy!! I have to go PEE PEE" (because no amount of pleading will convince a 4 year old that drinking two glasses of water before bed every night isn't the best idea, because he's SO THIRSTY!)
But as every year for Thanksgiving, at the top of the list is all of our health and love, and that will reach over infinite miles.
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