And it rolls around again

I can tell fall is here, or almost here. We already have the first of those large dew covered spider webs placed conspicuously on the eaves. And one on the rose bush by the driveway. Just when you become accustomed to walking around where they left last night's meal trap, they move it just for fun, I think.

Tonight we'll pack up and head off to the park to play with Lucy, picnic dinner in hand. In a few short weeks that same playground will be blanketed with oak and maple leaves, the trees leaving their dirty laundry for the wind to distribute as it will. One holiday after another will keep us all busy the next few months. I think its designed that way to keep us distracted while the flowers stop blooming and fade away, and the breezes turn from warm friendly waves to tiny prickled fingers on our cheeks.

Another birthday is coming up! I look back to this time last year, and realize my wobbly little toddler is turning into quite the "boy" now. We're teaching him to spell different words, to do some basic addition, and every time he rattles off some amazingly right answer, I am forced to let go a little more of my baby crush on him. I want to go back and delete every aggravated post I ever wrote on here where I complained about waking up for nighttime feedings. I want to take back every time I groaned when I picked up his 15 lb chubby lovely self, wishing he would start walking soon.

He's going to be 4 in 9 days. Four years of waking up to that smile, fourteen more to go.

I think I mentioned we've been singing "The Gambler" before bed each night. Already he knows most of the words and sings along with me. I beg each night to start a different song, and each night he forces the same one on me. Last night somewhere in the middle, I started smiling while I was singing. It was dark and we could barely see each other, but he heard it in my voice and reached out and touched my lips to make sure. Then I saw him smiling back, and when the last line came around, I let him do it solo, as I often do. Then he rolled over on top of me and squeezed his arms around my neck. "You can't get up, mommy". "I bet I can!," I said. And I pretend to exert all my energy without luck. He giggles and finally I shoved him back over to his side and we say our goodnights. What will our little routine be by his next birthday? He may even be reading to me each night by then. But I'll still be smiling through it...